Lately, I have run into a lot of rare little birds that I like to call Mumblers. It's one of the strangest things I've ever seen. They'll start off their statements at about a 10, and by the end of it they're at 0. It's almost like they're afraid I'm going to hear what they have to say. But......you started the conversation?!
They'll be like, "Hey, Lucas," and I'll be like, "Yeah, what's up?" And they'll be like, "Did I tell you the other day aboutattdatjkdtststatkhjhksfskddfadskhffsqqwart?"
So, in an effort to be nice, I'll say "Repeat that for me, Suga." Now, Monica knows that anytime I call someone 'Suga' I'm really calling them an asshole. ''Repeat that for me, Suga'' is really ''Repeat that for me, you mumbling asshole.'' Why won't you open your mouth and speak? If you don't feel comfortable saying it out loud, text it to me. I won't be mad.
So my new strategy in dealing with these rarities is just to nod and smile, and insert a few 'uh huhs' in there for effect. They don't know that I don't understand what they're saying 97% of the time.