You see kids, life is all about proper planning and strategizing. While we can't always predict or control what it will bring us, we can make a concerted effort to have a plan in place for every foreseeable situation.
As I approach 30, I am coming to terms with the fact that I may never marry or find the life mate that I desire. It is what it is, and if I can have Oprah's money in lieu of a man, I'll be just fine.
I do, however, want to be a mother. I think I would make a great mom, and I absolutely need the opportunity to mold somebody from birth. Can you imagine the child that gets to be exposed to my philosophies and life mantras from the very beginning? Phenoms I tell you!
Anyway, since I may not have that devoted husband by my side, I have already come up with an alternate solution: I'm going to buy my babies. That's right. But I'm not gonna go about this all willy-nilly, oh no. My intention is to travel to the city with the highest graduation rates, and the highest number of college degrees per square mile, and pick up my sperm there. The way I see it, the people donating in cities like these stand a higher chance of being smart than cities where the graduation rate is low and there aren't many people who possess higher education. I am looking for a higher pedigree of bum. Call me what you want, but I guarantee my children will turn out more civilized than those functioning monkeys that treat Walmart as their personal playground.