Lately my friends and I have been running into men who are not owning up to all of their spawn. We'll ask the fair question of how many kids they have, they'll tell us one or none, only to find out months later that they either just had a baby, or just found out about the existence of one.
To alleviate this unfortunate miscommunication, we now ask men how many children they have, and how many pending children they have. Bitch, how many women are pregnant with a possible child of yours at this very moment? How many DNA test results are you currently waiting on? These are important questions because a lot of men seem to think that just because the kid isn't here yet or hasn't been confirmed, they don't technically count. Well, yes bitch, they do. And I need to know about all of them so I can make an informed decision.