Monday, January 16, 2012

Gifted To Teach

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that every body is not gifted to teach.  This is something that truly comes from within, and you either have the gift, or you don't.

One of my biggest aggravations comes from people who do not possess the gift.  They get up there and try, bless their hearts, but to put it as nicely as I can, they suck.

Now for those of you who don't know, I used to be a teacher, and a damn good one at that.  My mother was also a teacher, so this is probably where the gifting comes from.  That being said, I feel like I can comment fairly on the non-teaching assholes our planet is plagued with.  Just like how it's easy to identify stupid, it's fairly easy to point out a particularly bad teacher:

1.  Stand The Fuck Up.  Why are you sitting down?  The only time I will excuse this is when you have an ailment or an injury, or a condition like pregnancy.  Other than that, you need to be on your feet.  When you sit and teach, my brain sits and learns.  You don't seem enthusiastic.  You don't seem into it.  I need you to be into it, otherwise, why should I be into it?

2.  Wake The Fuck Up.  Similar to when you're sitting down, I can tell when you have low energy.  I understand you're exhausted, believe me, but your students don't need to understand that too.  When you're exhausted, I'm exhausted, and it makes this boring-ass material even harder to learn.  Chug some coffee or an energy drink and come back to life, please.

3.  Shut The Fuck Up.  Unless the story you're about to tell is a good one, please don't tell it.  No one cares about your personal life unless it is relevant, or just that good of a story.  Other than that, honey, please hush.

4.  Recognize When You Are Losing Your Audience.  You see us going to sleep, please stop trying to act like you don't.  And what do you do when you see us slipping?  You keep right on with the same program that put us to sleep in the first place.  Why not add some variety?  You really don't have to help make the subject matter boring.

In closing, regardless of how awful a teacher is, I still have the utmost respect for them.  I know how hard it is to get up and put on a show everyday.  But for the love of everything holy, when you know that you are not operating within your calling, please go sit down somewhere.  On second thought, stand up!

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