Friday, May 11, 2012


Chevy has been running a lot of commercials for the Volt lately, a gas/electric hybrid that gets 42 miles or more to the gallon.  I usually resist the urge to cave into advertising, but with gas being as high as it is, I had to learn a little bit more.

I stumbled across a YouTube video of an ordinary guy reviewing his new Volt.  He showed us the interior of the car and how its dash is setup, he showed us the trunk space, and even showed us how the car charges.  While it was all very cool and the car itself is very cute, damn all that, can this shit take a hit??  

Really, this is the only relevant question anyone should be asking when it comes to buying a car.  Fuck the brand name or the paint job or the fuel efficiency, Can This Shit Take A Hit?  Some very expensive cars are actually very expensive death traps.  One hit and it's gonna fold up like a candy wrapper.  And let's not even get on the subject of smart cars...  A strong wind looks like it could take one of those away.

Look your dealer square in the eye and ask him this question next time you go car shopping.  Matter of fact, ask them to produce photographs of the same make and model, recently wrecked.  See how they held up.  With all of the non-driving that's happening out there on the road today, you're gonna want this to be your top priority.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

You Don't Grow Out Of Crazy

I have a friend who is really going through it with a coworker of hers.  The woman is basically a ranting, raving lunatic who is functional enough to hold a steady job and manage day to day life.

My friend is puzzled at this woman's behavior because of her age.  "She's 49 years old for god's sake! When is she ever gonna grow up?"  It was then that I had to clue my friend in on one of life's many lessons and said, "Sweetheart, you don't grow out of crazy."

And you don't.  If anything, you grow into it.  As a people get older, they gain more freedom to be just as crazy as they want to be.  Who's gonna stop you from being crazy in the privacy of your own home?  Exactly.

So, if you find yourself in a situation with a person whom you suspect to be crazy, and it doesn't seem to be improving, please know that it's not going to, and you might as well get out while you can!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Sympathy Level

In life, we all make mistakes.  Nobody is perfect, and we all fall from grace from time to time.  For this reason, I tend not to judge too harshly, for we are all human.

That being said, there are times when I may not be judging you, but my sympathy level for you drops and hovers right around zero.  Recently, a woman was "mauled" by cheetahs at a South African reserve.  I say "mauled" because she is alive and well, and did not suffer any life-threatening injuries.  Really, they just chewed on her a bit.

Initially, my sympathy level was at 10, because I thought it was some sort of freak accident.  However, upon getting more details about the story, my sympathy level dropped to about a 2.  Apparently, the people told her these were "tame" cheetahs, and that it would be perfectly fine to pet them, kneel down by them, and rub their heads.  So she did.  And look what happened.

Bitch, are you out of your mind?  Those people could have told me they were deaf, dumb, and blind cheetahs and I still wouldn't have gotten my ass in there with them.  What part of that picture looks safe to you?  And since we're on the subject of pictures, her husband stood there and took pictures of the whole incident instead of jumping in there and saving his wife!  What, did he think it was cute?  Was he happy his wife was about to be offed by some cheetahs?  Whatever the reason, my sympathy level is now at 0.

So you see folks, when you make remarkably dumb decisions, or when you keep making the same dumb decisions, over and over again, it makes it very hard for people to feel sorry for you.  Just sayin.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Musical Porn

Much of today's music has officially made the transition from being "freaky" or "sexual" to just plain nasty.  Disgusting.  Perverted, even.

Have you stopped to listen to the lyrics of some of these songs lately?  It's like listening to musical porn.  Some of the things these "artists" are saying don't really serve any meaningful purpose to the song.  Nope, it's only there to illustrate just how deep the perversion goes.  I'm all about creativity, and if you've just gotta be nasty, can you at least do so in a creative fashion?

Now, if you're an avid reader of the blog, you know that I am no prude by any stretch of the imagination.  But there are songs that come on that make me frown up and change the station.  They also make me want to spit.  I seriously can't believe some of these people have record deals.  What's even sadder, is that some of these "artists" were actually on top of their game at one point in time, and have sunk to incredibly new lows.  

If I were the producer on some of these tracks, I'd have to ask my "artist" if they were feeling okay.  I certainly wouldn't want them around my daughters.  Don't you feel like a perv when recording, editing, and mastering this?  You should!  Furthermore,

If I hear one more song devoted to how you're going to "beat the pu**y up, I think I just might scream.  Or cry.  With all due respect, child boo, what else can you do?  You're probably the same one who's going to serve up 7 minutes of pitiful sex, if that.  Please spare me and everyone else involved.

{Sigh}  Someone wake me up when they start making real music again.