It's time to address a serious issue that I'm sure occurs in public and semi-public bathrooms everywhere across America. It is the issue of The Courtesy Flush, or lack thereof.
For those who don't know what this is, the courtesy flush is something you are supposed to do after your first set of little swimmers hit the water. It saves everyone the time and disgust of having to breathe in the smell of your shit.
Why anyone would want to sit an marinate in the smell of their own feces is beyond me. Truly, what you do in the privacy of your own home is YOUR BUSINESS, but I am begging you, on behalf of your friends, family, and coworkers, do not make it our business.
I understand that there are times when you just can't hold it. We are human, so I am not unreasonable in this aspect. All I'm asking is that you reach back behind you, and flush. Immediately. I don't care if you have to flush 13 times- do it. When you don't, you create within me the strong desire to....