With all the hard luck I've had with men, truly, I should be a lesbian by now. I mean, it's the most logical choice. I cannot, however, become one. While there are many reasons why not, one reason prevails above all others: It's because women talk too much. And I don't mean gossip, honey. I mean Words-Per-Minute.
I have friends who run verbal marathons of such proportion that they make me want to kill myself. I'm talkin hours upon hours of non-stop droning that contains no real substance whatsoever. Now, I'm all for a good CONVERSATION, but that usually involves a mutual exchange between two people. These chicks essentially talk to themselves while I'm on the other end of the phone trying to find my gun.
I seem to keep attracting these people too. I don't know what it is about me that says, "Unload Here," but they do. I'm pretty sure my tombstone will ultimately read: "Here Lies Lucas-She Was Talked To Death."