Strange people are everywhere, man. You must always be on the lookout and ready to deal with them as they come. On just one short trip to Publix, I encountered 3 different types of birds:
1. The Psychotically Competitive Bird. I was on my way to the customer service counter to return some soap. This lady, also on her way to the counter, proceeds to quicken her step and literally foot-race me to the counter. Bitch, it's the Publix Customer Service Counter. It is not a tri-athlon. There is no prize waiting for you on the other side. Confetti is not going to fall from the ceiling. This broad then has the nerve to turn around and ask me, "Are you returning something?" I replied "Yes, but you go ahead Suga." If you're not sure what 'Suga' really means, see Mumblers.
2. The Slow-Walking Bird. Some people walk like they drive- slow as fuck. And not only are you slow, but you're swerving, so no one can pass you. Are you really that oblivious? Are you really that rude? How do you get anything done in a day? Now if I were to step on the back of that dirty little flip-flop, you'll be mad. Move the hell out of the way!
3. The Stare-Walker. Two people approaching each other on foot is awkward enough. If you don't know the person, and even when you do, it's a weird exchange because you don't know where to look. Most people will look down or look to the side or pretend to play in their phones. Not the Stare-Walker. They keep their eyes locked on you the whole entire time, until you feel the need to act. What I usually do is look away until I'm right up on them, look up, and give a good ol' Southern "How ya doin." What makes them so weird is that they do not reply!!! WTF is wrong with you? You're staring at me you effing weirdo! I'm the one trying to make us both more comfortable. I think from now on when this happens, I'm gonna do my same waiting technique, and right when I get up on them, I'm gonna go 'Boo!'