Monday, January 9, 2012


Some people don't even deserve themselves.  So I'm sitting in class today when this woman makes a very noisy entrance.  In the hush of the classroom, she's stomping the floor, slamming bags down, plugging shit in, setting shit up.. just annoying.

I put my earplugs in and tried to maintain my focus.  Well, Little Miss Look-At-Me leaves the classroom for about 15 minutes and returns with some gruel.  It really wasn't gruel...some combination of eggs and sausage and bacon bits... I don't know.  Anyway, she starts eating this "food" and a piece of it goes down the wrong pipe.  Now her loud ass starts to cough.  Repeatedly.  A classmate leaned in and asked her if she was alright and she replied, "yes."

Well, the coughing continues.  What mesmerized me, and the overall point of this post, is that she did not reach for her 32 ounce soda or step outside for a sip of water.  Nope.  What did she do?  She kept eating!!!???  Now, let me get this straight.  You're choking to death on a bacon bit that went down the wrong pipe, and your solution is to keep eating?  What part of the game is that?  Is this a new form of heimlich?  I was completely blown away.

Needless to say, she survived, and she finished her gruel down to the last bite.  She is almost as bad as the honey badger who almost died eating a puff adder, and who, upon waking from his near-death coma, continued to feast on said adder.  If you've never seen it, watch it here:  Honey Badger Almost Dies Eating Puff Adder.

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