Bitch Better Have My Money

I really try not to be a petty person.  Life is too short to hold onto grudges over insignificant things.

But I am truly bothered by a situation with one of my coworkers.  Last week she comes to me and says, "Hey Lucas?  Do you have a dollar?"  I wanted to say, "Why, yes.  Yes I do.  Do you?"  ya know, cause I hate it when people try to get in my pockets.  Well she continues, "I didn't eat lunch today and want to get something out of the vending machine."  Again, I wanted to say, "I'm having trouble seeing where I fit into this equation."  But I knew the little hooker was asking me for a dollar, so I gave it to her.

As she took the money she says "I'll pay you back."  I jokingly(?) responded "Oh I know you will, I know where you work!"  It was all smiles as she scurried to the vending machine and got her little bird food.  I continued on with my day, confident my dollar would be returned to me within 24 hours or so.  I've loaned out dollars before, and have always had them given back.

It has now been 9 days and this bitch hasn't given me my dollar back.  I have literally seen her everyday, and there's been no mention of it.  Bitch, did you blackout or something?  You don't recall asking me for money last week?  You're just.....you're just not going to give it back at all??  For real???

Folks, I have tried to forget my dollar, I really have.  I've told myself it's a charity write-off.  I've asked myself what Jesus would do.  I've tried to convince myself that that dollar would be long gone by now anyway.  None of this is working!  It was my dollar, you guilted me into giving it to you, and now you're not gonna give it back??

All I know is

Seat Jackers

I arrived to my seminar this morning and discovered another person sitting in my seat.  Now, this room is large, and there's plenty of available seating.  He could have sat anywhere, but no!  He chose to park his hips in my seat.

This pissed me off because, Bitch, you know I sit there and have been sitting there every single day since this tired ass lil' seminar began.  You've been plotting on my seat, haven't you??  I should have slammed my laptop bag up against the back of his head, but I refrained.  I do have some element of self-control.  

I got over it and sat somewhere else, but it behooves him not to be in my seat again come tomorrow.