Thursday, March 29, 2012


I am of the opinion that speeders are better drivers.  Naturally, I am very aware of the many accidents that have been caused by speeding, and the many tickets that have been issued, but usually there was some other factor involved.  Factors like, speeding and looking down.  Speeding and talking to your neighbor.  Speeding and texting.  Speeding and drinking.  These combos rarely work out well.

I'm talking about speeders who are of sober mind and body.  Speeders who are actively watching, planning, and predicting what these dumb-asses are about to do.  People who speed generally can anticipate what another person is about to do better than people who don't speed.  Why is this?

It's because when you're speeding, you know you're going fast as hell, and you have to pay even more attention than that asshole who's going approximately the speed limit.  Have you ever seen what happens when people see cops?  Suddenly, traffic that was moving so smoothly, comes to a screeching halt, and a lot of complicated and awkward driving ensues.  Probably a lot of rear-ending as well.

Furthermore, when people are driving slowly or going the speed limit, they tend to be more distracted because they aren't moving that fast.  They're more inclined to fool with the ipod or text or eat or, generally, not pay-the-fuck-attention.  When you're moving at a high rate of speed, you are a little more motivated to pay-the-fuck-attention.

I know some of you won't like this, and you resent those who go flying past you.  My advice is, use them!  They are your rabbits my friend.  If the speed limit is 45 and they're clearly doing 80, the cop is not going to notice you doing 50.  He's gonna go after the rabbit while you sail on by.

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