Monday, August 13, 2012

Sex's Got You Broke

For those of you not native to the southern region of America, this title reads:  Sex Has Got You Broke.  And it has.

One shining example is Mr. Chad Ochocinco, who was recently arrested and released on bond for headbutting his new wife, Evelyn "I'm About That Life" Lozada.  Great.  And why did he headbutt her?  Because they were arguing over a receipt she found for a freshly purchased box of condoms.  Not only was he arrested and is now facing charges, he was dropped from the Miami Dolphins this morning AND had his reality show with Evelyn put on an indefinite hiatus.

I remember a moment during this season of Basketball Wives, when Chad told Evelyn, "I'm only marrying you cause you got good pu$$y.  It ain't cause you're cute."  Evelyn laughed it off and I'm sure dismissed it as Chad being Chad.  But no, he was serious, and he meant every word he said.  And now look at yourself.  Chasing around after some damn sex has got you broke.  If not broke, it has certainly terminated some income streams for you.  I hope that shit was worth it, and I hope you invested the money you did make, well!

Let's explore the issue a little further though.  How else can sex get you broke?  Let's take a trip to the grocery store to find out the answer.  You're standing at checkout along with three little bad ass children, running around the displays, knocking shit over, bobbing and weaving around your cart.  You look at their momma and she doesn't exactly look like she's banking.  On top of that, she looks exhausted.  And for what?  All for some lil' funky ass sex.  Sex got her in the predicament she's in today.  Married or not married, sex is what ultimately has her in this position.  Now she'll be broke x3, perhaps for the rest of her life!  Naturally, the same applies to males who simply must raw-dog it with every woman they meet, and therefore, have 4 kids by 3 different women.  Their pockets will be turned inside out from here till kingdom come.

How else can sex get you broke?  It can get you broke when that happy little marriage of yours gets ruined and dragged through divorce court all because you couldn't keep your peter in your pan.  Now you've got lawyer fees, assets to divide up, rent to pay in two places, so forth and so on.  All because of some lil' dry ass, insufficient sex.  Are we starting to get the picture here?

So we're losing jobs, spreading our money thin, going to divorce court and sometimes jail, all for some sex?  Dayum.  As a society, don't you think this is a little pathetic?  That something that really only lasts about 7 minutes dictates our lives to the point where it affects us financially?  That's just tragic.

1 comment:

  1. Apparently Evelyn's stuff wasn't that good if he was up in some other chick(s)! Just think about how fast and how far he fell to broke. Most people have a lot shorter fall.

    People of America and broke-ass third world countries everywhere: stop raw-dogging the hell out of anything that twitches. Get an internet connection, Google whatever nasty thoughts you have, and have sex with someone that you love and won't destroy your bank account: yourself. No punk-ass kids. No garnished paychecks. No STDs. No trading your offspring for durable goods at the bazaar. Just think about it.