Sunday, January 13, 2013

I Don't

Walgreens has a commercial out right now that pretty much highlights all the reasons I don't see myself getting married.  It shows a married couple sitting at their breakfast table; husband is reading the paper, wife is sitting there being neurotic.

Husband goes to take a bite of his doughnut, then backs off.  Husband goes in again to take a bite when wife snatches it out of his hands, crumbles it into a million little pieces, and flings it across the table.  She then replaces his doughnut with some nasty little lo-cal diet drink.

Now see, that's that bullshit I'm always talking about.  That's his doughnut, his mouth, and his damn gut.  If he wants to continue to grow his belly to the size of a nine-month-pregnant woman, that's within his rights.  He doesn't need a wife/momager to tell him what to eat and when.  Now if he had slapped fire-hell out of her, everyone would have been mad.

For reasons like these, dear readers, I intend on remaining single as long as the law will allow.

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