Wednesday, August 5, 2015

C Students

The problem with the world is not the F students, or even the D students; it's those goddamn worthless, trifling, lazy, almost a loser but not quite, shiftless, mediocre, middle-of-the-road C students.

C students are a problem because they mimic B or even A students.  They can easily infiltrate an organization or your life, because they have learned to copy those just above them.  I respect the hell out of an F or D student, who essentially has said, "Fuck it."  At least they know who they are.  C students straddle the fence, and it makes life very confusing.

You know you've run across a C student based on their answers to basic questions.  Their responses are always generic, always neutral.  You:  "What is most important to you in life?"  C student:  "Living, laughing, and loving."  Shut the fuck up.  Can you come up with something a little more original?  You:  "What are your goals in life?"  C student:  "Just to be happy and be the best motherfatherfriendsistergirlfriendboyfriend I can be."  Lame, shortsighted, and insufficient.

This really is a learned behavior.  It started with essays in grade school and evolved into interview answers.  Interviewer:  "Tell me about yourself."  C student:  "I'm an excellent communicator with great customer service skills."  Kill yourself.  I'd hire an F student over you, any day.

C students hold the world back because they never choose a side.  "Well that's true for some but not for all."  Why, thank you, Confucius.  That was life-changing, earth shattering information.

Parents, if you find yourselves the proud owner of one of mediocrity's finest, please do us all a favor and just coach them down.  They'll be happier that the pressure is off, and society will benefit on the whole.  Better yet, if you were a C student, hows about not duplicating your borderline sorry life?

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