Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Problem With Money

Welp, the PowerBall drawing just passed, and there are a lot of grumpy non-millionaires out there this week.  Buck up! While this Jackpot might not be yours, there will always be chances at others.

I personally don't think the average citizen needs access to that kind of money.  We already know that half of them are the rarest of the rare birds, and the others are just flat-out fucking crazy.  Aside from that, the real problem with having money is that it takes away all of life's usual worries, and replaces them with the scariest thing of all:  yourself.

When you are rolling in dough, you don't have to worry so much about bills and getting up, going to work everyday.  If your car breaks down, you either have another car(s) or you have an ample supply of money to repair your vehicle.  You can pay your utility and service bills months or years in advance.  Your home(s) might be paid for in full, leaving only the property taxes.  If you get sick you can afford top quality healthcare.  Your kids' tuition was paid for before they were born.  And on and on and on.  In short, you are not worried about survival.  

When this basic worry is removed, it frees the mind up to meet itself.  This is a horrifying prospect for most people, which is why they either can't stand to be alone, or remain extremely busy so as not to get still too long.  When you get still is when all the issues come out, honey.

Why do you think so many rich people are on the hardest drugs money can buy?  Or into super-kinky freak sex?  They've been left alone with themselves too long.  Probably with no one really checking in.  Why do you think they get into petty cat-fights for the world to see on reality television?  They don't have anything else to do.  This leaves nothing but interpersonal issues to address.  Barring some natural disaster or severe mismanagement of the funds, the only thing the rich really have to worry about is keeping themselves alive.

So friends, if you didn't win this time, just be thankful that you've still got your life and all its issues to anchor you in reality.  Once your worries are gone, your increase your likelihood of becoming a weirdo.

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