Monday, October 1, 2012

Trying To Cheat

Ya know, it really annoys me when people try to do dirt, and aren't even good at or confident in their ability to pull it off.  Lately, my friends and I have run into a lot of wannabe cheaters.  Men in committed relationships who are doing the relationship equivalent of sticking their toe in the water to see how cold it is.

It's hilarious to watch, really, because you can see the guilt all over their face as they attempt to arrange a cheat.  That guilt has that face all twisted up, and makes them move in awkward and uncomfortable ways.  Their speech becomes choppy and they seem to scold themselves right after the words slip out of their mouths.  It's the funniest thing ever.

One of my close friends met a guy recently who confessed to having a pair of lips tattooed on his chest.  LIPS people!  Come to find out, he's actually married, and is out here trying to cheat on somebody.  Boy sit down, you have lips on your chest!  How are you out here trying to cheat on somebody with lips on your chest?

Then there was an experience I had of my own.  I ran into an old classmate that I hadn't seen since high school.  He and I exchanged numbers and really just caught up over the phone.  Well, after a pleasant conversation, I got a text message about 30 minutes later from him.......with his shirt off.

Really guy?  To make matters worse, about a week later he changed his relationship status to 'engaged' and posted pics of he and his fiancee's engagement photos!?  I said, "Look at this asshole out here trying to cheat."  And not even any good at it.  What if I had accidentally hit 'share' on that delightful little photo you sent me?  Then what?

Just lousy.

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