Chevy has been running a lot of commercials for the Volt lately, a gas/electric hybrid that gets 42 miles or more to the gallon. I usually resist the urge to cave into advertising, but with gas being as high as it is, I had to learn a little bit more.
I stumbled across a YouTube video of an ordinary guy reviewing his new Volt. He showed us the interior of the car and how its dash is setup, he showed us the trunk space, and even showed us how the car charges. While it was all very cool and the car itself is very cute, damn all that, can this shit take a hit??
Really, this is the only relevant question anyone should be asking when it comes to buying a car. Fuck the brand name or the paint job or the fuel efficiency, Can This Shit Take A Hit? Some very expensive cars are actually very expensive death traps. One hit and it's gonna fold up like a candy wrapper. And let's not even get on the subject of smart cars... A strong wind looks like it could take one of those away.
Look your dealer square in the eye and ask him this question next time you go car shopping. Matter of fact, ask them to produce photographs of the same make and model, recently wrecked. See how they held up. With all of the non-driving that's happening out there on the road today, you're gonna want this to be your top priority.
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
They Don't Care About You
I honestly cannot wait to become a mother. In due time of course, but I'm really looking forward to the process. Especially the part when they begin to comprehend and retain what I am saying to them.
I am going to teach them all kinds of life lessons, including a very important one about being a pedestrian. The lesson is: Sweetheart, these people don't care about you. And even if they do care about you, they don't see you.
Half of the people on the road really do not give a fuck about you. This is a true statement. Their sentiment is, "Get your ass out of the road and you won't get hit." The other half actually do value your life more than you do, but THEY DO NOT SEE YOU. Either your clothes are too dark or they're texting or you're in their blind spot, or they just passed out, or whatever. At any rate, you as the pedestrian have the greatest duty to protect your life, so take those earbuds out of your ears and be on the lookout for stupid.
I am going to teach them all kinds of life lessons, including a very important one about being a pedestrian. The lesson is: Sweetheart, these people don't care about you. And even if they do care about you, they don't see you.
Half of the people on the road really do not give a fuck about you. This is a true statement. Their sentiment is, "Get your ass out of the road and you won't get hit." The other half actually do value your life more than you do, but THEY DO NOT SEE YOU. Either your clothes are too dark or they're texting or you're in their blind spot, or they just passed out, or whatever. At any rate, you as the pedestrian have the greatest duty to protect your life, so take those earbuds out of your ears and be on the lookout for stupid.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Rabbits
I am of the opinion that speeders are better drivers. Naturally, I am very aware of the many accidents that have been caused by speeding, and the many tickets that have been issued, but usually there was some other factor involved. Factors like, speeding and looking down. Speeding and talking to your neighbor. Speeding and texting. Speeding and drinking. These combos rarely work out well.
I'm talking about speeders who are of sober mind and body. Speeders who are actively watching, planning, and predicting what these dumb-asses are about to do. People who speed generally can anticipate what another person is about to do better than people who don't speed. Why is this?
It's because when you're speeding, you know you're going fast as hell, and you have to pay even more attention than that asshole who's going approximately the speed limit. Have you ever seen what happens when people see cops? Suddenly, traffic that was moving so smoothly, comes to a screeching halt, and a lot of complicated and awkward driving ensues. Probably a lot of rear-ending as well.
Furthermore, when people are driving slowly or going the speed limit, they tend to be more distracted because they aren't moving that fast. They're more inclined to fool with the ipod or text or eat or, generally, not pay-the-fuck-attention. When you're moving at a high rate of speed, you are a little more motivated to pay-the-fuck-attention.
I know some of you won't like this, and you resent those who go flying past you. My advice is, use them! They are your rabbits my friend. If the speed limit is 45 and they're clearly doing 80, the cop is not going to notice you doing 50. He's gonna go after the rabbit while you sail on by.
I'm talking about speeders who are of sober mind and body. Speeders who are actively watching, planning, and predicting what these dumb-asses are about to do. People who speed generally can anticipate what another person is about to do better than people who don't speed. Why is this?
It's because when you're speeding, you know you're going fast as hell, and you have to pay even more attention than that asshole who's going approximately the speed limit. Have you ever seen what happens when people see cops? Suddenly, traffic that was moving so smoothly, comes to a screeching halt, and a lot of complicated and awkward driving ensues. Probably a lot of rear-ending as well.
Furthermore, when people are driving slowly or going the speed limit, they tend to be more distracted because they aren't moving that fast. They're more inclined to fool with the ipod or text or eat or, generally, not pay-the-fuck-attention. When you're moving at a high rate of speed, you are a little more motivated to pay-the-fuck-attention.
I know some of you won't like this, and you resent those who go flying past you. My advice is, use them! They are your rabbits my friend. If the speed limit is 45 and they're clearly doing 80, the cop is not going to notice you doing 50. He's gonna go after the rabbit while you sail on by.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Turn Signals
At this point in time, aren't there some very pertinent turn signals that are missing from our motor vehicles? Things like a 'U-Turn Signal.' Don't people need to know you're planning on popping a U-ey? I can't tell you how many near-misses I've seen due to the lack of a U-Turn signal.
While we're at it, they need to develop a 'Straight-Across Signal.' Sometimes I don't want to go right or left..sometimes I want to go straight. Have you ever had the experience of staring at another vehicle wondering what the hell they're about to do? They're looking at you, you're looking at them...... See, if they had a straight across signal, you'd know what their intentions were.
I should run for President.
While we're at it, they need to develop a 'Straight-Across Signal.' Sometimes I don't want to go right or left..sometimes I want to go straight. Have you ever had the experience of staring at another vehicle wondering what the hell they're about to do? They're looking at you, you're looking at them...... See, if they had a straight across signal, you'd know what their intentions were.
I should run for President.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Driver Alert Systems
Recently, I heard about the many new technological improvements scientists and engineers are rolling out to, basically, prevent stupid.
Most of them were really cool and I can't wait to see them in use. One of them tickled me greatly, though, and it is called the 'Driver Alert System.'
In essence, this system monitors how many times you've swerved, even slightly, out of your lane. It also monitors if you've made some really dumb decisions, like cutting off another car or taking a corner too swiftly. After one too many fuck-ups, the system illuminates an animated cup of coffee and displays the words "time for a break."
Rotflmao! I love it! While they have to keep it clean, what this program is basically saying is, "Hey! Jackass! Get Your Non-Driving Ass Off The Road Before You Kill Somebody!"
Isn't is sad that computers have to take over because we can no longer be trusted to do the job. Pretty soon, cars will be driving themselves since we just can't seem to get it right.
Most of them were really cool and I can't wait to see them in use. One of them tickled me greatly, though, and it is called the 'Driver Alert System.'
In essence, this system monitors how many times you've swerved, even slightly, out of your lane. It also monitors if you've made some really dumb decisions, like cutting off another car or taking a corner too swiftly. After one too many fuck-ups, the system illuminates an animated cup of coffee and displays the words "time for a break."
Rotflmao! I love it! While they have to keep it clean, what this program is basically saying is, "Hey! Jackass! Get Your Non-Driving Ass Off The Road Before You Kill Somebody!"
Isn't is sad that computers have to take over because we can no longer be trusted to do the job. Pretty soon, cars will be driving themselves since we just can't seem to get it right.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
What Stupid Looks Like
If you follow the blog long enough, you will discover that some of my biggest pet peeves deal with people and their driving skills (or lack thereof). Nothing enrages me faster than these damn bobble-heads who are attempting to navigate the road.
One of my favorite things to do when I finally have the opportunity to get out from behind a slow driver is look over and see just exactly what stupid looks like. I need to know these things for future reference so I can catalog it in my mind and avoid people like them. Funny enough, and after years of research, I have discovered that they all share one or more of the following characteristics:
1. old
2. mouth open
3. both hands on the steering wheel
4. sunk way down low in the seat
5. lost
6. scared
7. simple
8. talking on that damn cell phone
Is talking on the phone and driving at the same time really that hard? I do it all the time, and I don't depress my brake pedal to make it happen. I just, ya know, pick up the phone and keep going. I guess these fuckers can't walk and chew gum at the same time, either.
One of my favorite things to do when I finally have the opportunity to get out from behind a slow driver is look over and see just exactly what stupid looks like. I need to know these things for future reference so I can catalog it in my mind and avoid people like them. Funny enough, and after years of research, I have discovered that they all share one or more of the following characteristics:
1. old
2. mouth open
3. both hands on the steering wheel
4. sunk way down low in the seat
5. lost
6. scared
7. simple
8. talking on that damn cell phone
Is talking on the phone and driving at the same time really that hard? I do it all the time, and I don't depress my brake pedal to make it happen. I just, ya know, pick up the phone and keep going. I guess these fuckers can't walk and chew gum at the same time, either.
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