Boo-Hoo-Hoo For Your Choices!

Tonight I accidentally began watching No Country For Old Men.  Indeed it's not, because EVERYONE was dead within the first five minutes of that bitch.

Aside from that, the main character happened to stumble across a group of dead drug dealers and their load of cash.  One of the men was barely clinging to life and he kept asking for water.  Well, buddy didn't have any water.  So, he takes the money and hightails it out of there.  The movie could have ended here, because he got home Scot-free and about 2 million dollars richer.

Welp, some people just aren't satisfied until they get that ass broken off.  Our new millionaire was lying in bed, tossing and turning because he couldn't get the thirsty dope-peddler out of his mind.  Instead of laying there, shaking it off, and planning his move out of town, homeboy gets out of bed, fills a gallon jug full of water, and returns to the scene of the crime.

Naturally, the perpetrators return to the scene juuuuust as he was about to deliver the water.  They chase him down, shoot at him, sic their dog on him, and make that man swim like Michael Phelps across some raging rapids to his almost certain death.  By a very thin thread, he escapes.  Now he's on the run from both the law and some bloodthirsty drug dealers.

Now, you may feel inclined to feel sorry for this individual, but I don't.  Boo-Hoo-Hoo-De-Damn-Hoo for your choices! You chose to carry your ass back out there.  You chose to deliver your water slowly and by foot.  You chose to take those people's money.  You chose that shit, so I really don't feel all that sorry for you.

I've never seen this movie before, so it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.  But I want you all to start thinking in terms of Boo-Hoo-Hoo for your choices.  When that coworker, friend, family member, or complete stranger starts loading you down with their life's issues, sort out those that they had no control over, and those that they had complete control over.  You too will be saying Boo-Hoo-Hoo!

The Tall Man

There is yet another scary movie out that involves a man lurking in the woods outside of a home.  This time, however, the man is TALL.

Honey, bypass those trash cans and come on in this house.  I'll have dinner ready in about 20 minutes.  My goodness, what are you like 8...9 feet tall?  You look a little cold, should I turn on the heater?  Here's some hot cocoa, Suga.

I don't know what's up with this new trend in Hollywood, but I like it!

The Man In The Window

Or whatever the hell the name of the actual movie is.  Alls I know is that it's scary.  I'm really not a fan of scary movies in general, mostly because THEY'RE SCARY!  Also, one really has to wonder about the person who thinks up, writes down, and publishes these story-lines.  As a parent, how would you feel knowing your 12 year old son is in his room daydreaming about dismemberment?  Do you really want to live under the same roof as that?  I just don't think it's the mark of a healthy mind.

Anyway, there is some new movie out whose basic plot is that if you happen to catch a glimpse of this very strange-looking man in the woods or in your window, he comes into your house, your mind, haunts you, kills you, maims you, etc. etc.  I'm guessing the all-around goal is to not see they guy.  Or whatever.

Honey, this couldn't be me.  If I see your ass lurking outside of my window, I'm liable to tell you to bring the trash cans in.  If you somehow infiltrate the home, please believe you will be fixing faulty light switches and hooking up dvd players.  Don't lurk unless you wanna be put to work.  I don't care if you are a damn ghost.  That's even better!  That means you shouldn't tire easily.

The Dark Knight

I'm the first to admit that I am waaaaaay behind on my movies.  It's just not a priority to me.  But, I do catch up a few years later!

I saw Batman: The Dark Knight for the first time a few days ago, and immediately, my first thought was, 'Is there any particular reason you're talking like that, Batman?'

Homeboy sounds like he smokes 15 packs of Newports a day.  He makes the Joker sound normal by comparison.  Now, I haven't seen the movies that precede this one, but I, uhhh, don't think he was talking like that.  Was he?

If he was, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for letting this go on for so long.  I certainly can't picture him on top of me, because that voice would freak me the eff out.