Giving Them Ideas

I was watching the sorry-ass news this morning, and they did an expose 'alerting' shoppers to a new scam involving gift cards.  I won't give the details of the scam here, because then I would be acting just like them.

The point of it all is that the news basically gave you a step-by-step breakdown of how to complete this particular scam.  It's something the average person would never think of, and yet, is such a simple scam.  I couldn't believe the news laid it out for them, just like that.  It's something a part-time or lazy criminal could pull off.

This is not the first time the news or media in general has given people ideas.  I believe all crime-related shows are nothing more than reverse training.  Here's what NOT to do, so you don't get caught.  I believe all of these shows should be removed from the airways.  One, because it truly is giving these fools ideas and Two, I just don't think meditating on murder is healthy.

There's Always A Bitch

This is probably bad timing, but I'm going to write about it anyway.

First, I'd like to apologize to my readers for the absence.  I told you already my job is trying to kill me, I think you think I'm joking.  I see alot of you have been visiting, and I thank you for checking in!

So I'm watching the news here and this man is on trial for attempting to murder his attorney wife.  The reason?  He was living a double life and needed to rid himself of his wife so he could pursue his new life with this bitch.

So, why do I say there's always a bitch?  Because there always is! Watch any episode of Snapped where the man tries or succeeds in killing the woman.  99% of the time it's because he's having an affair and needs to be freed of the ol' ball and chain.  99% of the time.   All I've got to say about that, is that mistress must have some goooooooooood pu$$y!  Any woman who can make a man kill is working with something and should be hosting classes at the local university.  

But aside from that, why do people think they can actually get away with this?  It like....doesn't fit into 2012. We have iPads now for god's sake, why are we still killing people?  Haven't we come a litter  further?  I believe it's a combination of a strong lack of checking in, poor breeding, and people who are just plain crazy.  We gotta pray yall.

"Beating The Pu**y Up" As A Form Of Domestic Assault

Quite a few of you should be pressing charges when you get up off of your backs.

The reason is because a lot of your men are using your va-jay-jays as personal punching bags.  They can't punch you, so they punch your pu**y!  And they know this is a completely legitimate form of aggression!

Think about it.  If we really sat down and had a heart to heart, you'd be forced to admit that there were times you wondered if that fool was dealing with a full deck.  That there were times he was doing way too much, and that your moans had turned into murmurs--of pain.  But you lied to yourself and told yourself  "he's just passionate" or "he's so turned on he can't help it" or "he's such a great lover!"  No honey, he's violent, and he just let it out on your crotch.

Many women find this behavior cute!  "Oooh he beat it up, girl," or "Yeah, he tore it up!"  You sound silly, and there's nothing cute about having your uterus knocked out of alignment.  Get your life together, and stop allowing your lady parts to be abused!

Free Time To Scam

I recently learned of all the different things certain groups of criminals will do in an effort to scam the auto industry in general.  They will "clone" cars, arrange accidents, and hit their own cars with hammers to make it look like hail damage.

As I sat and listened to how elaborate each scam is, I thought to myself, "Who has the free time for this?"  Good God, have you any idea the amount of effort and energy it takes to clone a car?  You could have earned a reasonable and legal wage when it's all said and done.

Further, don't you have other things to do?  Don't you have to grocery shop and do laundry, and I dunno, sleep?    This goes for other scammers as well, like the people who create Ponzi schemes.  With the amount of time you spend creating a "business,"  developing websites, paying for and passing out flyers, holding bogus meetings, etc., you could have created a legitimate business that makes legitimate money.  I just don't get it.

When I look at my schedule honey, I wouldn't be able to scam even if I wanted to.  I'd come home, get my scammin' goin, and probably fall asleep on the couch.

Snatching Kids

Taking other people's kids is a behavior that I will never fully wrap my mind around.  Why in sam hell would I want to kidnap someone else's wretched little monster?  That would require me feeding it, clothing it, entertaining it, educating it, and listening to it cry.  The precious, precious freedom I enjoy now would be no more.  Who goes out of their way to make sure their life is encumbered?  Is it really that serious?  I'll just wait until it's my turn, thank you.