Bitch Better Have My Money

I really try not to be a petty person.  Life is too short to hold onto grudges over insignificant things.

But I am truly bothered by a situation with one of my coworkers.  Last week she comes to me and says, "Hey Lucas?  Do you have a dollar?"  I wanted to say, "Why, yes.  Yes I do.  Do you?"  ya know, cause I hate it when people try to get in my pockets.  Well she continues, "I didn't eat lunch today and want to get something out of the vending machine."  Again, I wanted to say, "I'm having trouble seeing where I fit into this equation."  But I knew the little hooker was asking me for a dollar, so I gave it to her.

As she took the money she says "I'll pay you back."  I jokingly(?) responded "Oh I know you will, I know where you work!"  It was all smiles as she scurried to the vending machine and got her little bird food.  I continued on with my day, confident my dollar would be returned to me within 24 hours or so.  I've loaned out dollars before, and have always had them given back.

It has now been 9 days and this bitch hasn't given me my dollar back.  I have literally seen her everyday, and there's been no mention of it.  Bitch, did you blackout or something?  You don't recall asking me for money last week?  You're just.....you're just not going to give it back at all??  For real???

Folks, I have tried to forget my dollar, I really have.  I've told myself it's a charity write-off.  I've asked myself what Jesus would do.  I've tried to convince myself that that dollar would be long gone by now anyway.  None of this is working!  It was my dollar, you guilted me into giving it to you, and now you're not gonna give it back??

All I know is

The Problem With Money

Welp, the PowerBall drawing just passed, and there are a lot of grumpy non-millionaires out there this week.  Buck up! While this Jackpot might not be yours, there will always be chances at others.

I personally don't think the average citizen needs access to that kind of money.  We already know that half of them are the rarest of the rare birds, and the others are just flat-out fucking crazy.  Aside from that, the real problem with having money is that it takes away all of life's usual worries, and replaces them with the scariest thing of all:  yourself.

When you are rolling in dough, you don't have to worry so much about bills and getting up, going to work everyday.  If your car breaks down, you either have another car(s) or you have an ample supply of money to repair your vehicle.  You can pay your utility and service bills months or years in advance.  Your home(s) might be paid for in full, leaving only the property taxes.  If you get sick you can afford top quality healthcare.  Your kids' tuition was paid for before they were born.  And on and on and on.  In short, you are not worried about survival.  

When this basic worry is removed, it frees the mind up to meet itself.  This is a horrifying prospect for most people, which is why they either can't stand to be alone, or remain extremely busy so as not to get still too long.  When you get still is when all the issues come out, honey.

Why do you think so many rich people are on the hardest drugs money can buy?  Or into super-kinky freak sex?  They've been left alone with themselves too long.  Probably with no one really checking in.  Why do you think they get into petty cat-fights for the world to see on reality television?  They don't have anything else to do.  This leaves nothing but interpersonal issues to address.  Barring some natural disaster or severe mismanagement of the funds, the only thing the rich really have to worry about is keeping themselves alive.

So friends, if you didn't win this time, just be thankful that you've still got your life and all its issues to anchor you in reality.  Once your worries are gone, your increase your likelihood of becoming a weirdo.