Yes, You Are

It always kills me when I see signs in public places that read, "Owner/Management Not Responsible For......"  Just today, as I was leaving a gated parking garage, the sign said, "Owner/Management Not Responsible For The Malfunction Of Gate."

Well, yes, you are.  If this gate comes crashing down on my car, you are very, very responsible for it.  So responsible, that I will be waiting for you at your office before you arrive the next morning.

How can you say that you aren't responsible for the gate?  It's your gate, isn't it?  Isn't it your job to keep it in good working order?  Here's a better question: If you aren't responsible, who is?  Surely, you don't think it's me.

The same goes for grocery store parking lots.  "Store not responsible for damage caused by shopping carts."  Again, yes, you are.  How you just gonna denounce your responsibility?  If a cart hits my car, you absolutely ARE responsible for it. It's your job to control these things.  If you are understaffed, hire more people to man the lot.  At any rate, you're paying for this ding.

I think I'm gonna get a t-shirt made that says, "I Am Not Responsible For Anything I Do, Have Done, Or Will Do."  You think that'd keep me out of jail?